pearlmattenson

2.1.10

In Week #8 on 02/01/2010 at 11:32 pm

The entire 7th week of my shiva nata practice took place in Mexico. I hope to have many years of discovering wonderful venues for shiva nata but this was my first “roadie” experience. The beach was great! When I came home and worked through the fast version of the combined arms and legs I saw how much progress I had made.

I am in my 8th week of shiva nata. This journal has played an important role in launching my practice. I feel blessed with my new shiva nata community of friends — a group of wonderful supportive people. I did a lot of thinking this past week and I came to one very important decision.

 It is time to retire this blog.

What? You just got started! 8 weeks is nothing. What are you doing? Havi mentioned you on her blog several times. You can’t just stop now?!!!

I know! I have said this to myself many times in the past week. And still I know this is right. For a few reasons:

  1. I am touching places in my post shiva nata reflections that are intensely personal and well… private. They are important for me to journal about and not so important to share. TMI…you know?
  2. Crafting daily blog posts has been a labor of love and still– a labor. All these breathtaking epiphanies have also been working their magic for my real life’s work: my coaching practice with leaders in non-profit organizations, teams and private couples. That is where my time is needed most right now. I have tons of ideas for my monthly newsletter and I now write a column for Simple Marriage as well. (check for my post this Thursday!)
  3. There is a wonderful Shiva Nata Group Blog that Amy started not long after I started this one. I have contributed to it as well and I hope to continue to contribute. We are a great bunch of shivanauts and would love for you to join us with your comments and experiences.   
  4. Havi– to whom I owe a debt of gratitude on so many levels– has her awesome shivanata blog, and to all of you who have purchased her starter kit, etc. you know how many other incredible resources she offers.  

THANK YOU

Thanks to all of you who have been incredibly generous with your comments and from whom I have learned so much. This is me signing off as I rub some hot buttered epiphanies on my sunburn. (Not! Actually I stayed in the shade like a good girl so no burns- just kidding!)

1.25.10

In Week #7 on 01/25/2010 at 7:06 pm

I am in Mexico. (no DVD in the room!)
I DID do my first day of shiva nata on the beach. I used coral shells to hold my notes down. If I have to delay mind-blowing shiva nata until I come home, that may be just fine.

I am not sure it will be possible to do wild and crazy shiva dancing without the DVD. However, the crashing waves were an incredible companion.

This week is likely to be about quiet contemplation and settling.

Starting to read: The Unfolding of Now by A.H. Almaas.

Stay tuned…

1.23.10

In Week #6 on 01/23/2010 at 7:44 pm

I had a day that afforded me a lot of time for quiet day dreaming, reading and shiva nata.

And…the tire guy isn’t letting me go. And that bit about needing an ally that I concluded yesterday’s post with is still very much on my mind.

In my dream-like musings the tire guy actually seems somewhat maternal. I am struck by the fact that he is large and soft. To embrace him would be to be enveloped by him in a safe and secure hug. And his message…

“You are trying to be something you are not.”

I was so quick to defend against it. So sure that he represented my nemesis. That he wanted to bring me down. Of course, I assumed he was behind my bad habits and was keeping me from healthy peaceful and intimate living.

And now I think the very knee-jerk, defensive reaction is actually a pattern of mine and not at all a reflection of who this tire guy is or represents for me. What if he is in fact already an ally?

Today I read the book, Circle of Stones: Woman’s Journey to Herself by Judith Duerk. I began to wonder if I am trying to be something that is harsher, more doing-oriented than being-oriented, more external striving than internal accepting. More male than female. More escaping of self than returning to self. And that is when the tire-guy’s words came back to me:

“You are trying to be something you are not.”

Maybe I am. Maybe he means well. Who am I trying to be anyway?

Am I trying to be something? Who am I?

BIG STUFF- I know. Tomorrow I leave with my family for a one week vacation on the beach. I am looking forward to days of ocean breeze, shiva nata on the sand, reading & relaxing with my family. I am not sure how often I will post.

Shiva Nata will continue as will my exploration of tire-guy’s offering. Check back Shivanauts!